she liked Imaginary Men best of all

No shirtless Jake = two hours of my life gone


My friend Janis and I went to see Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time. “Why?” you may ask, “that movie has gotten terrible reviews.” Well yes, yes it has. But we can sit through a lot of shit if it means there’s a hot, shirtless boy to ogle.

Which we were led to believe, PoP would feature since when we saw the promo the last time we went to the movies to ogle a cute actor boy – we both noted “damn, I may have to see this movie, look at that Shirtless Gyllenhaal!” (1:31. Yeah I know it’s half a second, that’s all it took!)

Don’t believe it Ladies and Gays. There is nary ONE SHIRTLESS SCENE of Jake Gyllenhaal in this damn movie. WTF??

Yeah - this scene? NOT in the movie 😦

He must have worked out like 9 hours a day and eaten some crazy diet of raw steak every 2 hours to look like this – all so we could see him clothed the whole time? I don’t THINK SO.

I did however, appreciate the application of rawhide bicep strappage:

See, now bicep straps + no shirt = I'd pay another $8!

The movie is based on a video game, ’nuff said. Jake is super charming and adorable though. Even if he’s not quite the English-accented-Persian-Prince type.

In other Jake-related news, I finally saw Brothers last week. Holy hell was it depressing! SO depressing it was hard to even crush on Jake! I mean, if I can’t muster up a good Squueee because I’m too busy feeling down, that’s not a good thing people.

Author: Amy H. Johnson

Amy H. Johnson is the author of The Fangirl Files a memoir about Boy Bands, TV Boyfriends and imaginary betrothals to 80s English pop stars. She prefers to be referred to as a "Cute Famous Boy Aficionado".

5 thoughts on “No shirtless Jake = two hours of my life gone

  1. Hey! I want nude Jake to personally refund me my money too!

  2. Did you ask for a refund? You would have been totally in the right.

  3. straps

  4. Gah! Thanks for the warning. Dani and I were planning the same thing.

    Brothers was hella depressing! Good movie… but damn. Those people just didn’t have good luck.

  5. That’s false advertising! Based on the photo stills and movie trailers, you would have thought JG didn’t wear ANY clothing throughout the entire film! Clearly, the producers of this film have NO understanding of women (Or, maybe, they simply thought no women would actually go see a film like this, unless they were dragged there kicking and screaming by their significant other).

    Not only was this mean and incredibly stupid on the producers part, it’s also HISTORICALLY inaccurate. After all, didn’t ALL MEN fight NAKED during that time period? I SAW those nudie pictures in my history books! And history books don’t lie!

    As far as I am concerned, JG should PERSONALLY give you your money back (dressed in nothing but a loin cloth, of course)!

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