she liked Imaginary Men best of all


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Sad, sad, SADNESS

I’m sad today – just like so many millions of people around the world are. My gut reaction to hearing about Robin Williams death on Monday took me by surprise. When I told my boyfriend only minutes after finding out, I burst into unexpected tears. I did not know the man but I felt a sharp and painful loss instantly as if I had just lost a family friend.

That his death was not an accident or a sudden illness made it that much harder to comprehend. How can a person who spent nearly his entire life making people happy struggle so hard to find happiness within himself? I don’t make any claims on knowing or understanding depression or addiction like he suffered from. I can’t envision a feeling so dark and overwhelming that it obliterates any reason and makes you choose the worst possible option on the table. But it makes me so very sad that someone who made us all so very happy felt exactly that hopeless on Monday morning.

I was born in the 70’s and am a child of the 80’s. Mork from Ork made me chortle and giggle from 6-10 years old. So really – can you blame me for feeling like I lost an old friend? I literally grew up with Robin Williams. Just like the 80’s born children of the 90’s embrace him as Mrs. Doubtfire and the Genie in Aladdin. He’s part of so many childhoods – so many teenhoods spent with tears running down our faces as we laughed ourselves sick at his stand-up (even if some of the sex and drugs jokes went over our heads.) He was brilliant and insane and when he showed up on a talk show or entered the scene in one of his (comedy) movies, you’d always whisper an “Oh no!” not of negativity but of breathless anticipation of what sort of lunacy was about to be unleashed from his marvelous brain and agile body.

While I can’t quote him off the top of my head, I can say with certainty that some of the first times in my life I ever laughed myself into a tear-faced, possible wet-pantsed, air-gasping, stomach-aching, body-shuddering laughter was because of Robin Williams. We have all lost so much. He has lost his battle with such darkness in his soul, his family has lost a father and husband, his friends – his fans – his charities – the film industry – we all lost this week. We lost BIG. 

To people who think, “Why would anyone get upset about the death of a celebrity they didn’t even know?” I point you to Twitter where people are standing on their desks in an #OhCaptainMyCaptain salute, or to my beautiful friend Sarah’s ferocious rant to depression, or Chris Gethard’s essay on his own encounter with Williams, or to Boston where locals are scrawling a memorial on his Good Will Hunting bench. We didn’t have to know Robin Williams personally to mourn his terrible death when we grew up with him, he made us laugh, he cheered us up, he wore his heart on his sleeve for us all to see.

Like I said – I’m taken aback by my own grief at this senseless, stupid loss. I am so heartsick for a man who gave us so much joy and couldn’t find it in his own heart for himself. And I’m pissed that we will never again get to look forward to whatever new, ridiculous, hilarious Robin Williams Moments we might have gotten.

Rest in peace.


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I know I mentioned earlier in the summer that I Am Your Grandma but really I’ve had a little bit o’ granny in me for a long time. When I was a teenager I got into old movies and fell in love with Fred and Ginger movies. You know the ones – the romance, the dancing, the glamorous sets and stunning evening wear:

There was a famous quote that he gave her class and she gave him sex appeal (there’s an even better quote from Ann Richards: “…Ginger Rogers did everything that Fred Astaire did. She just did it backwards and in high heels!”) and these movies were made to lift spirits during the Depression. But they are timeless in that they lift spirits over 70 years later. Astaire and Rogers films never fail to put a smile on my face – there’s predictable plots (lots of mistaken identity and boy-meets-girl-girl-hates-boy scenarios) and of course a bit of sexism but they are still essentially escapist fantasies.

In these films women were dames and men tried not to be heels. People got sore at one another and “gosh!” was the harshest exclamation. Isn’t there something so refreshing about that sort of simplicity? Before movies became dark and complicated, filled with explosives, sex and violence – there were people who danced their cares away and expressed their feelings to a delightful melody:

“Long as I can be with you, it’s a lovely day” HOW PERFECT IS THAT??

Fred was always seducing with dance, Ginger was always reluctantly falling for him and they were surrounded by a cast of characters who either conspired with them, or against them, were romantic rivals or bumbling idiots (I need to take a moment to rant about Randolph Scott in Follow the Fleet because this guy was a dick, OK? Lantern-Jawed-All-American “Bilge” – yes – BILGE! first ignores Ginger’s sister Connie when she wears glasses and isn’t a looker. Then she gets all dolled up and suddenly he’s in love! But then he ships out after promising to return to her aaaaand romances other women when he’s away. Meanwhile Connie refurbishes her father’s boat so when Bilge returns as a Captain he can sail it after they’re married. HOWEVER stupid Bilge has other non-Connie related romantic interests UNTIL he hears about the boat and then he’s back calling her “baby” again and generally making me shake my fists at the screen. Annoying Boy Shit existed always.)

But enough about THAT. What matters is that Fred never less than impeccably tailored and Ginger had dresses that flowed like they were made of magic threads and everybody went to nightclubs with little lamps on the tables and there was always a happy ending and I’m so glad this thing of beauty exists in the world:

And just once in my life I WISH I could leave a room like this!

(If you’d like any recommendations from Grandma – I suggest The Gay Divorcee or Top Hat which these clips are from and are Astaire and Rogers films at the very pinnacle of what made them perfect.)

 


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Summer Playlist

As soon as summer hits the heat rises, the days lengthen and a regular craving for iced tea becomes a reality – I put on my Summer Playlist. My musical heart belongs to 80’s English Pop Bands but before the Second British Invasion swept me up in it’s moody, synthy, Union Jack notes I was just a young girl in early 80’s America where the radio was ruled by rock n’ roll music by lots of single-word-named-bands and a hot bitch called Pat.

I’m not exactly sure how my connection of summer to these types of arena-rocking-cheesy-but-undeniably catchy tunes were forged – or if any of these songs were even summertime hits in my late single-digit/early double-digit years. But something about them makes me feel like a little kid riding in the car with my mom on the way to the pool, or stopping to get an ice cream after a hot afternoon running errands.

Africa – Toto (1982): Back before pretty boys with eye liner and gelled hair, there were guys in bands who looked like your auto mechanic. Toto is that band.

Lovin’ Touchin’ Squeezin’ – Journey (1979?! Let’s call it 1980 :-) ): Yes we all love Don’t Stop Believin’ but for my money this is the one I fantasize about tearing UP on the karaoke floor.

Too Much Time on My Hands – Styx (1981): Now you see why we needed well-tailored pop stars by the mid-80’s, I give you a guy in an aquamarine jumpsuit and one in a white (leather??) studded jumpsuit WITH shoulder pads.

You Make My Dreams Come True – Hall and Oates (1981): Without Hall and Oates there would be no 80’s. Period.

You Got Lucky – Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers (1982): Why do I feel like the far off futuristic world in this video is probably the year we’re in NOW?

Sharp Dressed Man – ZZ Top (1983): Yes every girl is crazy ’bout a Sharp Dressed Man!

Jessie’s Girl – Rick Springfield (1981): We’ve already established that I was a Rick Springfield Fangirl back in the day. What you may not know is that in 1981 federal agents actually came to the homes of girls aged 8-19 to legally confirm that you were in fact a Rick Springfield Fangirl. It was a law. Or something.

Promises in the Dark – Pat Benatar (1981): It was a Man’s World in early 80’s American Rock except for one tough, classically trained, bad ass goddess who you did not want to piss off. And we can all agree she rocked a jumpsuit far better than any of those dudes in Styx.

It’s hot out there so roll down the windows, crank up the tunes and rock it like it’s Morning in America!


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I am Elaine Benes

I know at one point I was sure I was Liz Lemon but after two years of repeated exposure to Seinfeld (and a newfound appreciation of the awesomeness that is Julia Louis-Dreyfus) I realize I am a bit of an Elaine Benes.

You know Elaine “Get OUT” Benes?:

And her Sweet, Fancy Moses “dance”:

Catching the frequent repeats (my boyfriend is a big fan) as an adult I now recognize my similarities to Elaine in ways I never noticed when I was 20 years younger and hadn’t had a real job, dating life or my own apartment yet. There’s something in her snarky, exasperated, self-absorbed ridiculousness that I often now think “YES! THAT IS ME!”

For example recently at work there have been various occasions for colleagues to send out thank-you cards after the passing of a parent, the departure of an intern, etc. Last week after finding two different cards on my desk (that I just have to check-off on reading and pass along) I burst into an Elaine-esque rant about waiting all month to combine the cards and then pass along one envelope full. It was eerily close to Elaine’s disgust with her office finding a reason to celebrate any little thing with cake and a song:

Yes, I was actually COMPLAINING ABOUT PEOPLE BEING GRACIOUS like Elaine was pissed about having to eat cake with her colleagues all the time! And in a true case of Life Imitating the 90’s: just like Elaine in the classic episode “The Contest” I too once worked out at the same time with John F. Kennedy Jr. at my fancy gym! But apparently I am not alone in feeling a connection to the Queen of the Castle as Buzzfeed has also addressed how We Are All Elaine Benes.


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Oh my god I’m back again!

Sooooo – long time, no blog yet apparently people are still coming here to read old posts which is pretty cool considering I haven’t posted anything in almost 15 months!

When I left you I was swooning about The World’s Best Boyfriend who, I’m happy to report is still fulfilling that role. I still love me some Imaginary Men but of course spending time with a Real Guy does take away from my sitting-up-all-night-blogging-time (so does a new wake-up call of 6AM – ACK!)

What else? Oh I just, you know – bought a house. Yes after several years of commitment phobia I went and got a relationship AND a mortgage within a year of each other. You would think I am a GROWN-UP or something!

Don't you love my new house?? (this is not my new house)

Don’t you love my new house?? (this is not my new house)

So plenty of energy that used to be dedicated to fantasizing about Pacey’s Pea Coats or Dreamy Vampire Brothers has been funneled into really sexy thoughts like bathroom remodels, caulking tools and home heating conversions (I know, I know – my life is VERY VERY COOL. Control yourself.)

And I guess some of my interests have changed and my need to write about them obsessively waned. I think that’s normal and I certainly still love a lot of things that are on this site (I’m looking at you Dowager Countess) and have discovered new interests because that’s what life is about – you grow and change and some things make the cut and some don’t.

I do have a confession to make and that is that I may now be less your Fun Sassy Girlfriend and more your Fun Sassy Grandma. The evidence: this winter I read two biographies of Frank Sinatra (speaking of obsessions – HOW could we not see Ronan Farrow is CLEARLY his kid?!) I got hooked on listening to the Cole Porter station on Pandora and when I saw The Fault in our Stars instead of getting all swoony for teen dream boat Augustus I kept thinking, “can we spend more time with Hazel’s parents? Because they seem really fun and awesome.” I’d like to think it was just residual feelings for Sam Trammell now that I’ve missed the last few seasons of True Blood – but I think it’s because I’m Your Grandma and Laura Dern seems really fun to hang out with (even when she’s pretending her daughter is dying of cancer so bravo for that specialized talent!)

But! I quoted the Backstreet Boys up above AND just saw them in concert (and got to keep my  Concert Bitch in check) and because Boy Bands are Never Not Awesome. I have some fun news coming up in the next week so I hope you’ll welcome me back into the big wide blogging world and that I remember how to link shit :-)

 


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A girl walks into a bar…

Today I discovered the feature on Facebook that lets you look at an archive of your old posts and status updates. I randomly selected April 2012 and scanned through to see that I sure posted a lot about food, Downton Abbey and Ewan McGregor!

I also found a status I posted on a day I clearly remember for a very important reason:

I have been so useless today. I’m supposed to go out now even though I’d rather go to bed, I’m so exhausted by my uselessness ;-p

That Saturday is still very vivid in my mind: I wasted a lot of time doing nothing at my apartment. Then I went grocery shopping and in the parking lot I ordered out and picked up my dinner on my way home (I was too lazy to cook what I just bought!) then I got comfy on my couch eating take-out and catching up on my DVR. I was due to go see my friend’s band at 10PM and that’s probably near when I posted this.

I really did NOT want to go but I was a single girl with no good excuse to bail on seeing friends on a Saturday night. The gig was about 5 minutes from my house and I could be home in two hours tops.

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And that’s what happened – despite being cranky and texting on my phone a cute guy bravely walked up to me to say hi and introduced himself and like that – my life changed forever. I would have missed out on meeting The World’s Best Boyfriend and nearly a year’s worth of discovering what it really means to meet that one person who is your perfect fit because I thought getting out of comfy pants and away from Revenge was too much effort.

Earlier that same month I posted a quote from The World’s Ultimate TV Boyfriend, Mr. Pacey Witter:

You want to know something Miss Josephine Potter? I think the world just may surprise you yet. I mean you fall in love, and it doesn’t work out, you think it will never happen, but it does, believe me it does, in the strangest of places.

So what’s my lesson here? 1. Always Listen to Pacey!! and 2. Get off your ass and make things happen. Sweet, handsome, loving, supportive-of-your-Boy-Band-obsession-bring-you-cookies-and-make-you-dinner-guys don’t just knock on your door and ask if you’re available!! You have to do the work and put in the time and sometimes whether it’s a project, job, goal or a boy – really lovely things happen.

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The Klaus Show

So, this is happening:

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KLAUS IS GETTING HIS OWN SHOW!!!! AND ELIJAH!!!! SALVATORES WHO???? !!!!!!!!!!!

I’m very excited ;-)

April 25th on the CW.

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